I have just spent a long weekend with a group of friends, including a couple who have spent the entire time groping/stroking/touching each other, which raises an interesting point: when and where is this type of behaviour acceptable?
a. Age - under 21 is OK, over 21 is not, and over 40 is a punishable offense?
b. Setting - dense urban jungle fine, remote rural wilderness fine, anywhere else not fine?
c. Company - you 2 alone fine, with family depends (you are stuck with them for the rest of your life, remember), with another couple in the same phase ok as you are unlikely to offend, with a mixed group of friends in a confined space, no?
d. Time of day - along with towed caravans on a motorway, could this activity be banned in daylight hours?
e. Proximity to others - a 'no no' if they are close enough to hear the slurping noises, could they be pursuaded to erect portable screens if the urge gets too strong?
I have been so traumatised that I am thinking of starting up a support group for others in a similar predicament. We could carry banners and wear T shirts with the old public swimming pool symbols for 'no heavy petting' on them. We could enlist Jeremy Clarkson and Janet Street Porter to our cause and maybe even persuade Lily Allen to write some strongly worded lyrics in her next album?
a. Age - under 21 is OK, over 21 is not, and over 40 is a punishable offense?
b. Setting - dense urban jungle fine, remote rural wilderness fine, anywhere else not fine?
c. Company - you 2 alone fine, with family depends (you are stuck with them for the rest of your life, remember), with another couple in the same phase ok as you are unlikely to offend, with a mixed group of friends in a confined space, no?
d. Time of day - along with towed caravans on a motorway, could this activity be banned in daylight hours?
e. Proximity to others - a 'no no' if they are close enough to hear the slurping noises, could they be pursuaded to erect portable screens if the urge gets too strong?
I have been so traumatised that I am thinking of starting up a support group for others in a similar predicament. We could carry banners and wear T shirts with the old public swimming pool symbols for 'no heavy petting' on them. We could enlist Jeremy Clarkson and Janet Street Porter to our cause and maybe even persuade Lily Allen to write some strongly worded lyrics in her next album?
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